Happiness is a cigar called flirting- Day 6

My dear readers,

Like I have promised I will deliver my rapport about flirting on Tinder, in a couple minutes.

First I would like to answer on the curious ladies questions, about the last Thursday and my handy man.

So on the last Thursday, at 8 o’clock AM, I saw the van in the possession of a correct logo, parked in front of my house.

What is the rush, you wonder? Well I was seen as an emergency case, as I got to find out a bit later. Maybe I just radiate that nowadays, God knows!

I was honestly disappointed when a saw that the back and the lower back, sticking out of the van, are not accompanied with the blond hair. Not my handy man of course:-(

The further inspection of available material, didn’t displeased me, thou. When opening the door I got to be confronted with a dark haired, blue eyed, extreeemely handsome man:-).

I swear by God, Dutch men can be really good-looking, but this is statistically impossible!!!

The owner of this company is running a model agency and not a technical support enterprise. And we are probably talking woman.

And she definitely reads my blog.

I will not continue about this anymore, it goes too much in to my privacy and I have to leave some space for Tinder; but if you need some reparations at home and you would like to check if I’m telling the true, please contact me. I’m still waiting for my bill to come in, and like I have warned you: they are charging per hour.

And before we go to Tinder one more digression.

I went to Dance delight with Jeanine and she told me that the curly, shy one, from the Roman army, will be there.

And he was… dancing around and with every available fine- looking girl. I wonder which one was The girl-friend-if -any?!

The curly one, remember, playing the pole, no legs, no arms, no hips…That reminded me of my grandma’s saying “Never judge the horse you didn’t ride on”.

I was so taken by the surprise, that I could not take my eyes of him. My God, he was almost… attractive.

I took some time to inspect the movements of his hips, because that is where all the magic should be living. Some researches show that man who can dance, are statistically better in bed, and they have better chances in fort planting.

There is an evolution theory who speaks about parallel in between a man dancing and a man fighting. For both mentioned, good health, co-ordination, stamina, strength, athleticism, rhythm, balance, suppleness, speed, an ability to predict and react to the movements of others, are necessary. Ideally, a woman wants a man who could, if the need arose, defend her and her children effectively, but who would not seek out fights without cause.

And where is the best to check this qualities of the man, than on the dance floor?

So ladies, be aware!

Curly, indeed, strolled around the dance floor; crashing the protestant’s nation’s rule of refraining, swinging his hips around the Ladies.

Dear, dear. I got to admit that when he let his snakes out, he is poisonous.

The whole impression was pretty good, especially because it had an element of surprise in it. I definitely didn’t see this coming. Not out of him.

My mean Serbian friends could not call him on his Dutch seagull dance: “one leg up, one leg down, arms wide spread, left and right, beak forward” … and the train.

All though the further observation revealed bit stiffness around his shoulder-neck area. I don’t know if this comes from some genetic deviation caused by wearing the collars in the Golden Age, or the traditional clog dance which puts the arms in certain position, but it is present.

I tried to let him go and let myself go on the Swan lake music, which replaced Samba, but not…when other girls went to ballet, I’m afraid I have played in the mud. I’m also too fiery for the Classic.

But enough about this – The Tinder time.

So I got the app, which asked me to reveal some personal information’s, photos and my friends list on the Facebook.

Why on the Earth they want my friends list?!! I refused to give them all that and the app refused to post my photo on. Well I’m going without photo, this time; I’m just in the right mood to fight with the robots!

The app offers, thou, a nice selection of the available man.

In California.

I love California, but wouldn’t it be handier to help me with the guys from the same continent? Not really in to the Cybersex.

Anyhow, I decide not to lose my temper here, and to see what’s in the offer tonight.

Per guy, you can see one or more photo’s, his age, Facebook name, and here and there bit of text about his preferences. Very basic!

That is kind-a good for a superficial girl, obsessed with the appearances, like me. I do not have to fool anybody around that I had ever chosen a man, because he had some inner qualities.

So here what the available guys say about themselves on Tinder (nick name meat market, by some gls on the Facebook):

  • A body builder in the mirror, naked to his waist. (I’m so sexy that the mirror will burst-into the tears probably)
  • Guy who wears a teddy bear mask and has two boys on his side. (I’m a family man; do you want to be a mammy bear?)
  • Three guys with their fingers up. (Together we can keep one girl happy)
  • The photo of the waterfall, in the distance small human figure visible. (If you like me come and find me)
  • In a builder shirt, all hairy. (“Veet” me baby)
  • 18 years old, naked. (Just got the children’s lock removed from my phone)
  • New York police officer. (If anyone is bullying you baby)
  • The Belgian in the Orange shirt. ( I can blend ).
  • 21 year old with muscles. (I’m in the gym since my 13th)
  • 101 year old. Still single to remind you on your future)
  • Ups, scary. (I cannot remember if I’m a good twin, or an evil one)
  • Looks like he is going to cry. (Never crossed my mind I will end up on Tinder)
  • With a golden necklace and the silver ring. (I love Metal-lica)
  • With a huge beer glass. (I’m an alcoholic)
  • With his son in the matching pants. (We are around the same age)
  • With my girlfriend. (Try to be hotter than she)

What people talk about themselves in public, dear God!!

  • Ups ! Father of my son’s friend. (Ha ha what should I do? Like, time to spread the news around the neighborhood, that I’m single)
  • And the list goes on; in the auto, on the auto, under the auto, next to the racing car, in the racing car, on the motor, next to the motor, on the boat, in the plain, next to the plane, next to the fight plane; tatoo, more tattoo, shirt tattoo; muscles, more muscles, even more.; glasses, dark glasses, glasses In the hair, glasses in the hand, in the uniform, more uniform, even more..

And just when I got tired…

A notification that a guy likes me.

The principle on Tinder is as follow. The guys you do not like, you just sweep away, and the ones you like get a heart from you. If he gives you this heart, you are the match, and you can talk.

In sweeping everybody away I gave some random guys my heart, and here we go. I like him, he likes me; our romance can start.

  • He at 20:42: “Hi beautiful how are you doing…your profile got my attention and it would be sincere pleasure to know you better GOD BLESS YOU”

Nice, he can feel my inner beauty from a distance and he is a nice religious man, who immediately sends me some blessed energy.

  • Me: “How do you know I’m beautiful, I do not have a profile photo yet 🙂
  • He at 21:13: “Thanks to take your precious time write me back on here…….I will really love to know where are you from and what are you doing for a living there”

Speaking with robot already?? I’m earning a lot, you keep on blessing me and I will start sending you the money, no problem.

  • Me: I’m from the Netherlands, and you?”
  • He at 21:25: “I’m a captain David Richardson from California I work for US army and I’m 45 years old. I’m currently deployed to western part of Africa due to my job and will deployed back to home very soon.”

The Captain America, of course, that is why he sounds like a robot.

  • Me: “Have you ever been in Europe?”
  • He at 21:31: “No I didn’t be in Europa but wish to be there one day.

Well I guess this is a Californian English.

  • Me: “Why don’t you come here than?”
  • He at 21:35: ”I will surely come very soon…let’s continued chatting and know each other more and more first. Baby I’m the man with only one heart and I know how to taking care of my woman and I know how to make my women feel for me till eternity.

Oh dear, a real man; to provide and protect, and make me yearn for him! It is not really necessary to see him dancing.

  • Me: ”I’m in. How do you do it, how would you make me love you forever?”
  • He at 21:40: “Well all things are possible when God is always support us in this relationship baby. We can love each other through chatting.”

Well dear gentlemen, who were hopping, I’m in a relationship now! It really goes fast now days, this relationship thing, and you have waited too long! I’m someone’s babe now.

  • Me: “You believe God would help us with all this distance? I’m a bit worried?”

I know God is almighty, but this is a new relationship, and it is a fragile thing.

  • He at 22:36: “Baby you don’t need to be worried about the distance cause its nothing when we love care and understanding each other”
  • He at 22: 39: “I’m getting my account deleted on here cause I found a good loving caring and understanding women on here. Do not worry, God has plans for you”

What?

The Captain America has dumped me. At 22:36 I was still his baby, and at 22:39 he dumped me.

My first after marital relationship lasted wait .. 40 minutes.

It was a good though; we had love, care and understanding. More than many couples have now days.

And of course God has plans for me: to sacrifice my friend list so I get located, or to send me on Lexa or Relationship planet.

Please feel free to comment and have a lovely day:-) See you soon.

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