Happiness is a cigar called flirting- Day 7

Dear humans,

It was worthwhile talking with friends about Tinder.

How it appears, it is a fashionable and handy way to meet singles and other interested parties in your neighborhood. Also it seems that you should keep it low profile; everybody seems to use it, but within the friend’s circles, it gets only to be whispered about.

As the friends list concerns, which app asks you to disclose, well it seems that app has a possibility to search if the person you might be chatting with, might be in a Facebook connection with one of your friends.

Kind-a handy, cause you can check with your Facebook friend, if the person in question is a psycho who is only accepted on your friend list, because he/she was threatening to disclose that your friend was also active on Tinder.

Other use of this is unknown.

Most of us have, anyhow, hundreds of Facebook friends we added when we were drunk or lonely, so we cannot put our hands in fire for people we do not really know.

I disclose my friends list (sorry friends), my location and my birth date. God knows what I have disclosed also; one day I might find a size on my underwear on Wiki leaks, but who cares.

(It is L, I’m Southern girl who is seldom hungry.)

I upload a nice photo of me, just out of hairdresser kind-a photo, with my eyes thoughtfully exploring the ground.

Not that I’m really searching for anything there, I’m just showing a submissive behavior, which according to some dating experts, is a sign that you like a person across you.

I open the list of available date’s in my neighborhood and …oh my dear Lord!! (Let me for a change call him Lord).

Being divorced is like being in a candy shop! All the time.

That of course, after one passed a bad patch, involving a lot of drama, like: my children will never know what a family is, I will never be loved from any other man/woman, I will forever go on the vacation alone, all my friends will leave following my ex, my sexual parts will dry from not using them….And so forth. You know what I mean? Too many always, never and forever. Drama.

One, of course, next to the drama, in a period of splitting up, had also real feelings:

  • sadness :“he took my high presser tales cleaner, how I’m going to clean my garden tales now?”,
  • fears : “I think I’m losing control and will kill him, with the neighbor’s watching”, and
  • anger: “it is totally OK to kill him”.

Well if you are divorced you know how overwhelming these feelings can be at the time.

Advice from a psychologist: Just take a deep breath and accept your feelings… and then let them go. Take a deep breath and accept and then let go.. It will pass.

Or kill him, if you like it better. Do not hold me responsible for your deeds; I was trying to calm you down.

Anyhow, you and your ex are now kind-a friends, meaning you downloaded and red around 1,5 GB of material about how anger is just killing you from inside, you should forgive people who hurt you, is best to be kind and respectful to any living creature, including your ex-partner, because you are all one..

Well we have been one, once upon the time, but we split, and nowadays I love trees and animals, better than him.

But since recently, I have decided to take advices and be new age spiritual. Before, I was a Buddhist, but it did not work out for me.

On the other hand, he decided to improve his psychological condition by attending smart seminars, you were talking about 3 centuries ago, in the hope that he will change enough that you accept him back. Or he got to be Buddhist, who knows?

So for now you are full of love and forgiveness and sometimes you even have time to speak with him on the door and to go and explore apps like Tinder. Life is good.

But let us go back in to my candy shop. A lot of very handsome man! A lot.. Most of them with their clothes on. Good.

And you can just sweep them left and right with the touch of your fingers. Fantastic! Who wouldn’t get addicted to this??

It reminds me on the step workout : back and forth and sweep, left and right and sweep. I swear to Lord, I’m already losing weight!

It is exciting this and one get to be inpatient. What is next??

Like reading a weekend novels when we were teens, you remember?

“The sky thickened, low and heavy, wrapping everything in an eerie, hot silence. Then the sky opened up…”

Who cares for the sky, give me some action! Sweep, sweep, sweep.

Wait a minute. It is too busy over here, and I really need to set some criteria. For example tattoo or not tattoo, glasses or no glasses, age??

First two, I do not really care about, but the age, what would be suitable age of a man, for young but mature women like me?

You could say 30 at lowest? But I see some younger hot-ies and think about the link I have recently posted on my page about benefits of having sex with a younger man.


At the end why not set the bar very low? If I get his mum on my door, I can always answer kindly, that he is his own grown up person and that she needs to let go.

Or I can be mean and say that he is handsome on his dad obviously; and if she does not back up I will do his dad too.

Have you noticed, by the way, that being kind is never funny and mean well? Why is that?

Anyhow, back to candies, it seems that while I was choosing my sweets, very high percentage of man, have already given me his heart. (or swept me this side—–>)

I’m very attractive woman, I’m telling you.

Well, the day after, my male facebook friend kindly informed me that guys have a strategy to sweep right ———>, all the girls they see, and than talk only to attractive ones.

I notice also later, that not every guy who is matched with me, talks, or talks back to me, so maybe I’m not so attractive after all.

But I like leaning on the first impression about myself on internet.

I’m a very attractive woman!

Anyhow I pick one up to talk, he talks back, or other way around, can’t remember, and there we go. Dutch men flirting, existing category!

Well after 5 minutes I start watching TV as a parallel activity, because it takes him ages to reply, and I do easy get bored.

The reasons might be as follow:

  • His typing abilities are low profile, which means he does not spend much time on Tinder, otherwise he could type faster
  • He talks with very many girls at the same time
  • He is a philosopher, needs time to think what he wants to say.

Bored from waiting I sweep further around, only to find some Milk chocolate candy, The chocolate truffle, Cone-shaped candy, Nata de coco, Orange gelly candy, Gummi bears, Jordan almonds, Caramel candy, Hanukkag gelt, Saladitos, Mounds.. The world of sweets in The Hague :-).

I hope I will not get the Alzheimer, later in life, from all this sugar I’m consuming right now.

I pick 4 more to chat or they open the line and there we go. I talk simultaneously with 5 man in 2 languages, and I’m still having time to watch my movie.

Two of them bore me to death, 3 more to go. One get sleepy, two get to date me. One never confirms the date, one to go.

Well it is faster than going to the bar and waiting The Dutch man to approach you:-) And you can nicely sit at your own couch and watch the television.

Next day I talk with a bunch more, before I get a great deal unenthusiastic about internet dating. If one more time I have to say how many kids, where from, what for work …and wait for their replies, I think I will go nuts.

Internet dating obviously has its low points two. I’m starting to understand why some people have warnings on their profiles : “do not start a chat with me, if you do not have serious intention in dating someone”.

I totally do not get that girl, who had an experiment of 100 dates for six months and her repetition of the story about her time in Czechoslovakia all over again. That is sacrifice for a science, not this what I’m doing!

(I can not find the story again to show you, but if you do, please leave the link in the comment below. Thank you!)

Next to the guys who actually talk on Tinder, and the ones who are there only to show their muscles, or score a sex date, there is a interesting category of ones who are there to answer the questions. What I mean by this, is that some important number of guys starts a conversation, and then relies on you asking the questions and them replying on it.

I cannot really hear the music in it. And I interrogate people for living; do not want to do it in my free time.

So I said to one guy: please ask me something, I would like to type something about me too, and he did, very well-mannered person. He asked me two more questions and then I asked some more and then waiting.

What I can conclude from this is:

  • I should resume a dominant role and court a guy (while my belly grows from unprotected sex and his not, this is not going to happen)
  • I’m boring, he is not so in to me, he is just being polite
  • His mother thought him not to talk to strangers but his ex-wife worked on his communication skills, so he can communicate, but with a lot of fears and hesitation

To break a fame that only Dutch guys are like that, I talks to two British and one Irish guy. I try also the Arab , Aussie and Danish but they say nothing. Their mum’s won.

One of the British guy follow a pattern “give me the question I’ll give you the answer”, other is very much into taking me to the bar. Irish guy, like any other Irish guy, thinks he is a standup comedian, so we do have some laughs, but we never get serious.

So if you ask me if it will be more posts about Internet dating, I seriously don’t have an answer. You know how it is when you just go out. A desert.

During this fool Moon thing, when people get crazy, there was a guy stalking me in the City moll. I got scared from him, following me from shop to shop, but, hay, with the dating scene nowadays, and if you do not like Internet dating, what is really the way to meet that lovely soul mate of yours?

If you have a suggestion please leave it in the comment below, and I will try it out.

In the meanwhile do not worry about my stalker. I marched to him and from around 3 centimeters distance to his nose, told him I’ll call a police if he continue doing what he is doing. He looked aside and I felt sorry for all of us who are searching on a wrong places, in the wrong times, on a wrong ways and with  wrong people, including him.

Love you guys. Please share!

If you want to be informed about the new posts, please like my page on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/Flirtingofmindsandmanners15

2 thoughts on “Happiness is a cigar called flirting- Day 7

  1. Josh

    Loved the post Tania, got me laughing out loud 😀 …the killing bit (possibly revealing too much about myself there..)
    Hope your Tinder adventures are fun and possibly even fruitful!
    I’ve never experienced it myself. Kinda taboo for the married crew..


    1. Thanks Josh and do not worry about the killing part. It us perfectly normal one to want to kill one’s significant other from time to time. Marriage and divorce are made to teach us how to just want and not do:-). You sure you are not on Tinder? I saw one with a wedding photo on:-))) Joking joking


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